I Knew It! I'm Surrounded by [Morons]!

This is something most people would agree on, but would never agree that they themselves were: people are dumb. A quote from the movie Men in Black sums it all up pretty well: "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it." It is for the most part, true. Everyone is prone to acts of foolishness, stupidity and complete idiocy at times. Even I will admit that I have done some pretty stupid or foolish things in my life. But I do attempt not to act like this day-to-day. To actually open my eyes and be aware of my surroundings. I've known this fact for years, but in working at Tim Hortons, it has highlighted itself so severely as to glow in an all-encompassing, giant blob of Technicolor orange the color of puke up-chucked for all to see. Unfortunately, the only ones who can't see it are of course the ones perversely desecrating the area about themselves. I will follow this up with examples.

This one is about a woman. The lock on the door to one of the stalls in the womans washroom was broken. After I had been informed of this, I put together an out of order sign and taped it to the door itself. After all, when something is broken, you put a sign on it to let others know that it is broken, so they won't suffer the mishap of whatever other person came before them. Well, this woman, even after reading the sign, used the stall. She felt that the sign was a lie; after all, the toilet worked perfectly. Can't be anything wrong with that, right? Oh, except that the lock is broken. She had locked herself into the stall with her only means of getting out being to either climb over top the door, lift the door off its hinges (if she had the strength), or crawl under. This woman approached me, I being the only person on the floor at the time due to it being late at night, and began to ream me out for having locked herself in the washroom. She asked to speak to the supervisor. I asked her at that point, it being roughly a half hour after I had put the sign on the door, if there had been a sign on the door. She replies gruffly that no, there was no sign. I then say, as calmly as I can, "So, you're telling me there is no sign on the door, and if I were to go and inspect this stall in question and find a sign, what would you say then?" Caught in her lie, she confessed. But for her own actions, she wanted to responsibility. I did not bother forwarding her complaint -- she was too stupid to read a sign already on the door, she had no right to complain.

However, women aren't the only people who are stupid. I was out of town at a mall. I'm walking along and spy a Booster Juice. Thinking to myself that I want something, I approach. I see they have a sign up, and it reads: "Cash only: debit and credit card machine is down." Making the logical conclusion, I pay for my item with cash with no hassle. The man behind me, however, looks at the sign, reads it, then pulls out his debit card and utters in a whinny voice asking, "Can I pay with my debit card?" Before the girl at the counter can even reply to his insipid question, I ask him plainly if he is retarded. He gets huffy, looking at me, probably thinking to himself that my question is a stupid one. I point out the sign, and that obviously if there is a sign, then the machine isn't working. He said he was "just checking to make sure." I'm fairly certain the girls would take the sign down if the machine was working. Make no mistake.

The third is something I deal with day to day with many people. At the store, we have plaques detailing what kind of credit cards we accept. Many stores are like this: if you don't see the sticker, the place doesn't accept that card. People are so used to seeing these signs they are obviously blind to them. Sheep herded along. Horses running with blinders, or whatever else. They don't see it. So, every day, I get at least one customer trying to pay with a credit card we do not accept. They get annoyed, asking which kind of credit cards we do accept. I point to the sign that's directly in front of me at the till, where they are standing, in plain view. And almost every time, the credit cards we accept, they don't have. What's worse is when they have no money on them whatsoever. Pointing out that there is a debit machine where they can get money is of no use, because more than fifty percent of the time, they leave, angrily, blaming me for their own inability to see signs plastered at the entrance doors and at every till.

The end is that people are stupid. And anyone who might want to say "well, logically, if you're saying people are stupid, you are too, since you're also a person." This is true. Everyone is stupid, but there are varying degrees of stupidity and stupid acts. The problem is, the dumber population at large outnumbers anyone who is moderately less challenged mentally.

There's Only One Shape!

So, I'm at work and a couple of the girls are talking about the idea of going to the gym and losing weight. Apparently it's a part of their New Years resolution (and this is one that takes second and third place for yearly resolutions, or even first place; I know, not very original). I start talking to them about going to the gym. Then they ask me, because they understand that I know a thing or two about the gym and getting into shape, whether or not I'd be willing to go with or take them.

As an aside, I used to be in really good shape. I could run five kilometers in just under twenty minutes, and while I might not have been able to bench-press my own weight, but I could do a good fifty-plus push ups, and was fairly strong in my own right. Well, currently, I'm out of shape, and while my New Years resolution isn't to get back into shape, the idea of getting back into shape does feel right to me. End result? I say, "Sure, I'll take you both to the gym if you want and help you get into shape."

Both start outlining what their goals are. "I want to lose weight around my midsection" or "I want trimmer triceps." My response? I'll take you to the gym, and you will get into shape, but you are going to hate me. I pretty much said what my game plan was. Hard work is what gets you into shape. The old adage about no pain, no gain? That's true. I said how they'd find new aches in places they never thought possible if they came to the gym with me, and that I would push them to achieve, partly because I would also be pushing myself to achieve.

Now, neither of these girls are largely overweight. They just want to get fit. No qualms. I'll be going to the gym tomorrow about membership prices. I'm going to see if I can somehow finagle a deal of some kind for three people for four months (because I plan on moving). Here's hoping they don't lose heart.

You Want a Cold One, Eh?

My new year was good, so I thought. I had some goals in mind (some of which I plan to write down so that I remember I'm supposed to be achieving these things, some serious, some not so) and a sense of some good will toward others -- almost. Most of this in part comes from the fact I know I'll be leaving Tim Hortons soon; I plan to move in the Spring, be gone, get a new job, get back to university, continue life. For all my New Years resolutions (or lack thereof because I don't make resolutions in the sense that most people make them, such as "I want to be a better person!", which in my part would be a lie), you'd think people would make some kind of resolution to be more intelligent or to pay more attention to finer details. Or just not be complete idiots.

One such person who should have had a Pro-Choice mother decides he wants to order a latte. Simple thing to make. So I make it, hand him his beverage and wish him a good day (which if anyone who knows me, I may say, but I honestly don't mean it). He promptly complains about his latte. For a moment, I thought perhaps I had made it wrong, done something to foul up the mix of foamed and steamed milk or what-have-you, but no, his complaint is that the latte, a hot drink, is hot. I wanted to reach across the counter and slap him. Of course it's hot! It wouldn't be what you asked for otherwise if it wasn't. So he asks if I can put some milk in it to cool it down. I take the lid off and admit to him that the cup is full (him having burned his poor tongue on his hot latte and not having actually drank anything yet) and that I would have to pour some of the latte out to put in the cold milk to cool it down for him. He complains about that, since it would ruin that mix I was talking about before! Of course it would, nevermind diluting the espresso already in it. What a moron.

No, I have to actually remake his order and somehow make it cooler than the first one. Not that hard, really. All I did was make a medium latte as opposed to the large he asked for and dump in a crapload of milk to cool it down. He didn't even thank me. No, he just acted like I had screwed up his order. I wish more people had some form of cognizance to realize what it is they're asking for, so speak plainly, and no flip-out when they get exactly what they asked for in the manner they ask for it.