This is Awkward...

My friend and I have decided an extremely awkward conversation would follow along these lines:

"Hello, this is Video Express: we're calling you to inform you that The Wrestler is one day over due."

"Um, yeah, well, our son shattered the disc and stabbed himself to death in the stomach with the pieces."

"Oh, uh, um, okay."

"Would you like the pieces back? The mortician says that we could keep them, but if you want them..."

Polo Shirts, I Choose You!

A good friend of mine and I often have interesting conversations. We get to a point where an idea pops into our heads and we run with it. We aren't sure how we got to the final destination, there being a lack of a good roadmap of the conversation, but they prove humorous.

One day said friend and I were walking and talking about the latest Pokemon game. Neither of us is a fan, but we're chatting about it and how they're all basically the same game, re-boxed with a new name, that being the version, or "color". We jokingly went on about all the colors they could possibly come up with until arriving at "Navy." Then my brother who was with us pips in with, "Why not Pokemon: Old Navy?"

"Go, Polar Fleece!"

"It uses price discount, it's super effective!"

Chat - Vol 05

(3:40:54 PM) GuardianAnubite: Monkeys.

(3:41:04 PM) Wolf: They're on fire!

(3:41:12 PM) GuardianAnubite: And they dance!

(3:44:02 PM) Wolf: With love and joy!

(3:44:17 PM) GuardianAnubite: No, I think they dance because they're on fire.

(3:44:36 PM) Wolf: I think they dance not just because they're on fire on the outside, but filled with a flame of passion on the inside.

(3:45:16 PM) GuardianAnubite: I don't know about you, but the idea of being immolated alive is slightly more important than whatever emotion you feel at the time.

---

(5:33:38 PM) Wolf: My feet hurt. So very much.

(5:33:46 PM) GuardianAnubite: I can amputate.

(5:34:24 PM) Wolf: I'd rather you didn't. I still need my feet for tomorrow.

(5:34:51 PM) GuardianAnubite: I can rebuild you. Faster. Stronger. Smarter. I have the technology.