Life -- Sucks

I stop and think sometimes during the day, an old habit. As the days go by, the blur one into the other, I forget details of things that might have happened or did happen and I no longer care enough about the details at that point that it's just easier to forget it all outright and leave it at that. Well, sometimes there are events in my life that no matter how much I wish I might forget the details or the lead-up to the event I can't.

Even when I don't want to think about those somethings, my mind always reverts back to some past occurrence and lingers for a moment, forcing me to actually stop and think about it. I might not want to, and might try to force it from my mind, but this only causes those very thoughts to come back later at a time that might be even more worse for me. So I let my thoughts run their course and all is well, I suppose.

But for the fact, all is not well.

I think of a friend lost and a woman that hates me. I harken back to thoughts of how she's probably continuing to harass and stalk me to this day and I might not even know it. Maybe, maybe not. The chances for this are altogether there, I'm sure, but sometimes even when I don't want to think about it and am thinking about it, I want to believe she's gone her own way and forgotten me so as to live a better life.

But then I remember Shakespeare and the line that "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." I scorned a woman, and no she is, possibly, hellbent on harassing me to the end of days. I take the harassment and turn the other cheek, so to say. I can't say that I'm at all happy for the harassment. I'd like to think I'm over the whole thing, although if I'm talking about it, probably not. Things turn out bad, they stick with you. Although my life is changing.

I've joined the army. It will allow me to fully forget my past transgressions, and possibly forgive the people I couldn't before, and hope for the forgiveness for my own transgressions that I don't deserve.