Without Me?

If you didn't know, I'm Canadian. This means that I celebrate Thanksgiving on the second week of October every year, unlike my American neighbors. I'm also a college student away from home, so thus far every year, I've made the trek home to partake in Thanksgiving with friends and family. A rather large event. Well, this Thanksgiving was notable to me for several reasons.

The first is that my older brother never came this time. That meant that the usual gather of myself, my two brothers, three sisters, parents, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, two nieces and one nephew was cut down by three people who didn't show up. I reamed my older brother out for not being there since him and I have generally been close over the years.

Another thing that stunned me, really shocked me, is that my parents place, which I had called home since 1990--and have many fond memories of--is no longer a home for me. Since leaving for college, I've felt exorcised from the family, and it was even more palpable in feeling this Thanksgiving. My two younger sisters, who also left for college this year, felt it a bit, but not to the same extent I did over the weekend. It just isn't home for me anymore. Just a place I stay at in-between semesters of college.

In fact, I find myself feeling that I no longer have a home to call my own, just locations that I stay at during transitory points in my life currently. I don't even miss my family except for my younger brother, who has in the past two years been turning into my best friend, except for my two other good buddies (Nova and Tier).

It's an odd feeling. Like I'm drifting away from everything and everyone I've had in my life. Maybe it's just some subconscious desire to strike out into the completely unknown on my own, and the only way to do that is completely cut off my old ties. I dunno. I really don't like the idea of severing any of the friendships.

Speaking of severed friendships, I lost a good friend of five years a few weeks back. Due to my own arrogance, assholishness and probably innumerable other factors. It came to a head when I accused him of being manipulated by another friend of his that I didn't agree with too much (although the friend's friend says I hate her, which I don't). I still feel bad about the way it turned out, but I guess it's my fault I became distant in the first place.

Oh well. Anyway, that's about it for me.

Oh, I picked up a book, Star Wars: Hard Contact, as well as Batman: The Animated Series Vol 2. I have Vol 1 and 3, and hear that Vol 4 is out this November or December; and George R. R. Martin's next book, A Feast for Crows, is out this November. Can't wait for either!

 

- W. Visarett